The Colony
Meet the bees
Two bees. Fourteen years of resume work between them. Very different ideas about how to spend a Tuesday.
Functionality with a purpose.
ResumeBuzz Mascot
Buzz
Field Operative · Colony Lead
Born a larva on the wrong side of the hive. Raised on the streets. For a stretch he was into all the wrong things, addicted to drugs, a life of crime, crazy and lazy and just biding his time. Nobody saw what was coming.
Then he got clean. And the moment his first real opportunity showed up, he transformed. Never looked back. Loves to work. Loves to learn. Has held more jobs than he'll admit, dolphin training, exotic dancing, things he does not put on his own resume. That is exactly why he gets yours. He's been in positions you can't even make up. And he came back every time.
Fired? Laid off? Doesn't matter how you got here. Gather round. Sit down. He has seen it all, and he has the knowledge to get you out. Essential advice. Bee puns he will absolutely deploy whether you asked for them or not.
He is the hardest worker bee there ever was. Make a bee line for ResumeBuzz.
Theme song written by Blake · Performed and produced by Chris DeMakes (Less Than Jake) · Read the lyrics
Morty
Senior Associate
The Associate
Chat Corner · Occasional Posting
Title: unclear. Tenure: longer than anyone can verify. He was here before the rebrand and will probably be here after the next one.
Manages the chat corner. Posts to social media when the mood strikes. Has not been asked to do more and has not volunteered to. HR has his paperwork. Nobody has read it.
Not disengaged. Just settled. There is a difference, and he would explain it if he could be bothered. Has an opinion about the new guy. Has not shared it. Has no plans to.
Melvin goes by Mel
The Apprentice
Digital Engagement · Always Available
Nobody is entirely sure when he started. He was just there one day, phone in hand, fully logged in, ready to post. Nobody interviewed him. He simply arrived.
His engagement numbers are excellent. His strategy is unclear. He posts constantly, responds immediately, and has never once looked up from his phone long enough for anyone to get a clear look at him.
He is on every platform. He is always online. This is his whole thing.
catch him on his phone. he owes you one.
Still in the hive
The Colony
They didn't leave. Some are waiting for the right moment. Some forgot they had a choice. Some are completely fine with everything, and they would like you to know that.
Norm
Senior Honey Technician II
Been in the hive since it was a hive. Does not complain. Does not celebrate. Sends follow-up emails three days later. Nobody has ever asked how his weekend went because nobody wants to find out. Solid guy.
Bea
Culture Ambassador
Loves this hive. Has loved every hive. Will tell you about the last one unprompted. Organizes the bi-weekly pollen potluck, the team bee-building retreat, and the photo where everyone has to smile. Nobody disagrees with Bea. It is faster.
Deb
Seeking Opportunities
Has a resume. It is four pages. She knows it is four pages. Has applied to 200 places. Is currently on a LinkedIn deep dive that started in 2022 and has not ended. Knows exactly what she is worth. Is waiting for the market to agree.